by Nancy Rigato
I think it was back in my University days, specifically in Developmental Psychology class. I remember hearing about young women who bear children, also having the maturity level and stamina to play and run after their rambunctious kids, whilst women who bore children later in life had the patience and the intellectual wisdom to rear their offspring in a calm and controlled manner – all naturally speaking of course.
Well – I’m days away from my 40th birthday with twin toddlers and a 5 year old to boot. Truthfully speaking, despite my patience and wisdom, I wish I had the energy and stamina to keep up with the rug-rats.
If you’re familiar with the saying “Its not how old you are, its how you feel”, I’ve consciously thrown that theory out the window after the birth of my children. Kids are supposed to keep you young, but I feel like I’ve aged 10 years since their birth. My twins are 2 1/2 and they keep us running in circles 24/7 and the 5 year old craves constant attention.
Like most working moms, I put in a full day at the office, sit in traffic sorting out the dinner menu, arrive home, prepare dinner, clean-up, give everyone a bath, read a story, put everyone to bed, collapse on the couch and do it all over again the next day. This is also the part where I must confess. I do have a live-in nanny who is a huge help and I can’t imagine life without her, but nevertheless its still a lot to handle.
Its funny how life works out sometimes. I was a latch-key kid and I grew up just fine…or did I? I think because of societal pressures and current parenting trends, I am made to feel guilty for not having the energy or devote an adequate amount of time to play with my kids. I pay someone to watch my kids while I’m at work, I also pay someone else to spend one hour, one day a week to challenge my eldest academically and to read a story with. Someone else is teaching them swimming, ballet, gymnastics, as well as hosting playgroups.
Could I be subconsciously avoiding my kids or maybe I really don’t know how to be a devoted parent?
What I do know is that I love my guys to death and I want nothing but the best for them. And if that means a mom who is not overwhelmed, stretched out too thin or stressed, so be it.
Nancy Rigato is a Human Resources Manager, wife and mother to three beautiful children. She is a Certified Human Resources Professional (CHRP) and holds a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from York University.